Taking root

I’ve just finished reading A Thousand Splendid Suns for my EALD book review assignment. I find it highly thought-provoking, not to mention quite disturbing to some extent.

I wonder if in a war-torn condition where death is imminent and hunger and starvation triumph, mercy killing and abortion would have been acceptable.

People may argue for the sanctity of life, that the choice to live (even if it is to live among sufferings) or die is not for a parent to make.

But imagine living in a condition where hope does not exist. Your parents, your friends and everybody you were once close to, all blown into pieces or have fled the country, giving you nothing to anchor yourself to in this wretched place. You live by the day, each day praying that the rocket will land just a few metres away from where you stand, sparing you your life for yet another miserable moment, but only to live with the knowledge that Death is never far.

And then, you got pregnant.

And you have a choice to spare this baby from a life, a world so overtaken by fear and violence. Would it have been an acceptable, or an almost noble deed to perform?

I would have shouted, “Oh ye of little faith!”

Yet the heavier, more important question remains: Do they even have their faith still?

Would it have been possible to hang on to faith when every day, you witness cruelty, injustice and murder?

And none of it ever shows any sign of passing.

It would have taken every part of me, whatever that is left from this lack of strength resulting from the deprivation of food and water, to put my fingers together at the end of each day and thank God that today, the rocket has missed my head and hopefully tomorrow, it will too.

Then I might find myself pondering on the meaning of life. What have I to live for if as a woman, I am deprived of everything – healthcare, education, work and even the freedom to roam the streets?

For one, there would be the duty as a mother.

Then if I give birth to a girl, what has she to live for?

The possible prospect: To marry to a man, hopefully a non-abusive man, but she hasn’t got much of a choice in that now, does she?

And she would still starve, like everyone else on the street.

So I suppose at the end of the day, we can say all we want about civilization and how inhumane it is to take away a life, but we can never comprehend with the magnitude of the choice one has to make when one inevitably steps in those shoes.

Killing, abortion and mercy killing are objectively wrong.

But does the world allow us the privilege to be objective?

When you refuse to take a life (when that said life is living in a condition so unimaginably bad), are you upholding your morals or are you merely selfish and reluctant to have blood on your hands? Is it really more humane to let another human being suffer?

Unanswerable questions, these are.

But, if Jesus could face that same discrimination, that same suffering (and worse), that same persecution for the world, being as innocent as He is, I think I can find faith in that, however hard it may be.

So today, as I read this highly disturbing story, I am reminded of how great it is for me to dwell in the house of my Lord. How comforting it is for me to know that I have a shelter for when the darkest moments dawn on me. How grateful I should be to have a faith to hold on to for hope, that even when all earthly roots may vanish, I have another one to anchor myself to.

And perhaps it is time for me to try a little harder to water that root.

Meanwhile, I’ll just pray really hard to God that I never have to make such a choice in my life. :)